Fears in Fatherhood

Apparently I'm kinda popular in the Netherlands and Germany lol. Apparently that's where  people who are reading my blog are from. Today I want to talk about what I'm most afraid of as a single black male living in America. Typically if you are an older man you should NEVER be speaking to children at any point, for any reason, and it's always inappropriate. 

I remember walking into a store and saying hi to the owner and while looking around . One of the children came around and said hi to me. I normally pretend I didn't hear them but this time I just said hi. The owner of the store got up and loudly proclaimed "CAN I HELP YOU SIR". I told her what I was looking for she quickly got what I needed and then I left and I never returned to the store ever again. 

I often wonder to myself when it comes time for me to have kids how will i relate to my kid because I've spent close to a decade+ avoiding them and not speaking to them. I don't blame any parents for being careful around me because there are a lot of creepy men out there and to be fair I would do the same if I was in their position too. 

It's a problem that I'm truly unsure how to solve because we say "we need more men in the community" but we don't allow them to feel welcome. Even when kids do feel comfortable around me I will tell you mothers will just say I don't want you talking to that men because of jealousy. So I try not to get to close to children and really keep my distance. I just pray that if I do have a kid that my wife will be patient with me. 

I have another story for you there was a time I was in this big super walmart and I was just walking the aisles looking for some food and in front of me there is this child crying very loudly. I look to the left and right and there are no parents to be seen there was another man and we both look at each other very confused and I wish I could draw this because it was quite the sight. We end up just letting the kid walk away because both of us were too afraid to help the kid. Both of us silently knew that we might be accused of kidnapping the kid or worse. I often wonder if women feel the same way. 

I've talked to some women some feel very comfortable around kids and some of them want nothing to do around kids. I notice that while I talk here about how man are watched like a hawk it isn't "always" easy for women either.

Kids do have a lot of needs and it will be one steep of a learning curve to actually take care of them. I'm not a complete novice in terms of what kids need but there are a lot of things that I just don't know how to do. Regardless this is going to be a shorter blog for today and I'm very sorry that I haven't posted in a while a lot has happened and work has been pretty busy. However I'll try to come back and still blog when I have time and I'm still drawing I promise I'll get better ^_^.